I got this horrible dose of reality emailed me today from the crank people at Kranky records:

Well WTF!??@? This is horrible news, as Benoît’s debut is definitely an album worth owning on vinyl. So please send out a collective FU to Kranky records.

I emailed the wonderful lo-fi indie-pop band Bears the other day inquiring as to whether or not their breathtaking debut would ever be availabe on vinyl. I received this in my inbox today from Charlie (who’s birthday is one day after mine):

That’s delicious news for vinyl lovers like myself!! Please email them at bearspop [at] gmail [dot] com if you support this endeavor (which, you should)!!

The 500 albums project is a comprehensive list of my favorite records ever released. It was incredibly difficult to rate such a massive amount of music and this is probably as close as I can ever hope to come to compiling such a detailed archive. From the culturally significant and historically important to the largely ignored or underrated, this list represents all the music that I will forever cherish. It will grow by the hundreds in the coming days and weeks so please keep checking back until the project is complete.

EDIT: I am totally sucking at this project. I would still like to finish it eventually, but with so much awesome new music constantly coming out, it is rather difficult.

	001	The Pixies Bossanova [1990; 4AD]
	The Pixies’ third LP consummated Black Francis’ genius blend of weird, cryptic lyrics with his prodigious vocal sensibilities (which ranged from caustic to ethereal and alternated without hesitation); resulting in a record stuffed with surrealistic undertones, alien imagery and surf-laden love songs which would influence nearly every indie band for the next two decades.

	002	Neutral Milk Hotel In The Aeroplane Over The Sea [1998; Merge]
	A stunning assemblage of gorgeous instrumentation intertwined with jarringly melodic vocals—all the more striking when paired with Jeff Mangum’s creepy, demented lyrical subject matter. Neutral Milk Hotel’s sophomore album showcased Mangum’s innate ability to unearth the beauty of human frailty.

	003	Nirvana MTV Unplugged In New York [1994; Geffen]
	In one of rock’s most memorable and chilling performances, grunge’s reluctant savior Kurt Cobain humbly surrendered to an impassioned display of humor, dejection and heartache—effortlessly transcending his already iconic stature by way of haunting, acoustic renditions of classic Nirvana songs and several obscure covers. The session was recorded less than six months before his death and serves as an ideal, if unforseen, curtain call.

	004	Weezer The Blue Album [1994; Geffen]
	Fueled by Rivers Cuomo’s sugary vocals, infectious songwriting and lyrics ranging from dungeons & dragons to KISS, Weezer’s self-titled debut taught an entire generation of kids how to be cool whilst wearing black-rimmed glasses and cardigan sweaters. The hipster bingo card in its current fashion simply wouldn’t exist without the influence of this geeky, distortion-soaked oeuvre.

	005	Hum You’d Prefer an Astronaut [1995; RCA]
	A sonic barrage of droning guitars, druggy vocals and blazing feedback with lyrics that could moonlight as a crash-course in science or astronomy, Hum’s major label debut simultaneously glimmered with hope and drowned in despair—ultimately imploding into a bottomless pit of beautifully dismal malaise.

	006	The Pixies Doolittle [1989; 4AD/Elektra]
	The Pixies’ second LP expanded on the abrasive nature of their debut by revealing an increasingly mature sense of songwriting and eventually coalescing into a sensational mixture of sporadically playful he-she vocals, erratic guitars and humorously gruesome subtext. Doolittle showcased Black Francis’ aptitude for catchy surf-drenched hooks and propelled him to the indie rock legend he has since become.

	007	Radiohead OK Computer [1997; Parlophone/Capitol]
	One of the few artistic bands to gain international stardom while staying true to their unconventional music approach (an uncompromising cavalcade of instruments which at times border on cathartic and even inaccessible to casual listeners), Radiohead’s OK Computer was a postmodern stew of foreboding instrumentation, cryptic lyrics and hypnotic vocal paranoia—vaulting the band to its rightful place as one of the greatest in history.

	008	Interpol Turn on the Bright Lights [2002; Matador]
	Characterized by Paul Banks’ slightly disconnected, Ian Curtis-esque vocals and enveloped with narcotic guitars, pulsating basslines and heavy drums, Interpol’s critically acclaimed debut deftly redefined post-punk with a renewed sense of importance and a detached, melodramatic elegance.

	009	Modest Mouse Good News For People Who Love Bad News [2004; Epic]
	Modest Mouse’s most mature and accessible record, Good News For People Who Love Bad News was the perfect sequel to the bitter, antagonistic Moon & Antarctica. Isaac Brock’s existential lyrics are not just typically brilliant but also encompass an auxiliary serenity and a much more sophisticated understanding of the universe.

	010	My Bloody Valentine Loveless [1991; Creation/Sire]
	Overflowing with densely layered guitars and dreamy vocals to form a colossal wall of sound shrouded in quasi-sexual imagery, My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless pulses, vibrates and evolves like a living, breathing organism—eventually overwrought by the complexity of its own existence and surrendering to an everlasting eternity of frozen love.

	011	The Brian Jonestown Massacre Thank God For Mental Illness [1996; Bomp/Tangible]
	An apt title for an album essentially written by psychotic genius Anton Newcombe, Thank God For Mental Illness exemplifies The Brian Jonestown Massacre’s brand of neo-retro drug-fueled hippie pop. Championed by increasingly complex musicianship and a dirty, drugged-up eastern influence, this record showcases the band at its finest.

	012	National Skyline This=Everything [2001; File 13]
	Intricate and demure, National Skyline’s sophomore album treads further into the icy cold territory of post-rock; sparkling and shimmering with the flare of a frozen wasteland. This=Everything is a sensory overload scourged with chilling synths, ethereal samples and emotionless drum loops.

	013	Engine Down Engine Down [2004; Lookout]
	Engine Down’s fourth album decidedly absolved the band from their math-rock tendencies and instead acted as a vehicle for Keeley Davis’ seductively discordant vocals. Combining layered harmonies with tumultuous waves of distortion and thundering drums, the band effortlessly skirts the line between radio-friendly pretense and demiurgic integrity

	014	Pidgeon From the Gutter With Love [2004; Absolutely Kosher]
	Pidgeon’s guttural take on Pixies-esque loud-soft-and-loud-again indie rock is an exquisitely dirty musical mélange of delicate rasping and brutal ass-kicking that [gently] pulverizes everything in its way. Equal parts love songs and kegstands, From the Gutter With Love is an unquestionably flawless piece of work by an unfortunately overlooked band.

	015	The Jesus & Mary Chain Darklands [1987; Blanco Y Negro]
	Having almost completely abandoned the feedback-soaked guitar massacre that characterized their early releases, the Reid brothers inverted the formula—resulting in a refined, introspective resilience which could pass for a dark, rainy day in and of itself. Haunting and morose, Darklands paints (scribbles, even) a picture of a barren landscape so far removed from reality that only shadows can survive.

	016	The Organ Grab That Gun [2004; Mint]
	Though essentially a Smiths record without a Y chromosome, The Organ’s debut LP is a voyeuristic joyride of self-deprecation and slit-my-wrists style diary entries chillingly sung by not-quite-drama-queen Katie Sketch. Stark, succinct and ultimately exhumed of its grave subject matter by a subtle glimmer of hope, Grab That Gun is a sort of timeless suicide faux pas—riding the wave of near-death with an inherently cool nonchalance

	017	Circa Survive Juturna [2005; Equal Vision]
	Androgynous and sexy, Circa Survive’s Juturna is an ambiguous soundscape of frozen warmth and blinding ethereality. Synapses pulse, neurons shiver and tension builds exponentially throughout the icy hallucinations of this celestial vignette.

	018	The Knife Deep Cuts [2003; Rabid]
	A schizophrenic kaleidoscope of beautifully psychotic recordings that render themselves as a physical manifestation of sexual abstraction—Deep Cuts is a gleeful deconstruction of normalcy; a bitter call and response between lethal warriors and young, silent lovers.

	019	The Smashing Pumpkins Siamese Dream [1993; Virgin]
	The Smashing Pumpkins’ second album moved further away from their earlier masturbatory guitar solos and blithe optimism towards a sense of hopelessness and unequivocal melancholia. Endless layers of thundering, fuzz-drenched guitars and complex, jazz-influenced drumming provide the perfect adversary for Corgan’s storybook lyrics and nasal gloom.

	020	The Dandy Warhols Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia [2000; Capitol]
	Just like their iconic namesake Andy Warhol, the Dandys have an ingenius grip on pop culture. Combined with their sleazy, drugged-up power pop, it forms a precocious mishmash of irony-laced sarcasm and a pompous arrogance so egregious its derisive of itself—letting loose an indigenous guise of cool that further lends credit to the band’s sneering cynicism.

	021	The Go! Team Thunder, Lightning, Strike [2004; Memphis Industries]
	An uncompromising assault of avant garde cheerleading, retro theme songs, urban funk and schoolyard anthems, Thunder, Lightning, Strike deconstructs decades worth of music—creating a cultural collage so surreal it transcends history and becomes a microcosmic effigy of music itself.

	022	65daysofstatic The Fall of Math [2004; Monotreme]
	A math rock album in post-rock clothing, The Fall of Math is a torrential musical soundstorm—constantly on the verge of chaos and riding the wave of apocalypse for all it’s worth. Thundering bass, robotic drums and atmospheric (if catastrophic) guitars impulse and surge like a sonic expedition through an ashen wasteland.

	023	The Brian Jonestown Massacre Bravery, Repetition & Noise [2001; Tee Pee]
	Arguably The Brian Jonestown Massacre’s most accessible work, Bravery, Repetition & Noise is much more refined and introspective than the band’s prior Rolling Stonesian drug-freakouts. Anton Newcombe’s genuinely honest and concise songwriting portray a truly unhappy man accepting his sorrow and at peace with his past.

	024	Nirvana In Utero [1993; DGC/Sub Pop]
	Nirvana’s third and final studio album was even more abrasive and poppy than its predecessors—crawling with dark, submissive subject matter and pulverizing hooks. Kurt Cobain’s grating vocals perfectly complemented Steve Albini’s corrosive production style, resulting in a record as disturbing as it is catchy and solidifying the band’s reputation as the demigods of grunge.

	025	The Microphones The Glow Pt. 2 [2001; K]
	The crowning achievement of lo-fi mastermind Phil Elverum (formerly Elvrum), The Glow Pt. 2 is a sprawling, do-it-yourself collage of simplistic folk-pop, bizarre segues and boyish vocals. Elvrum gracefully and carefully balances the line between embarrassing pretentiousness and genuine poetry.

	026	Bears Bears [2006; Carrot Top]
	Beautiful, catchy, happy, sad, and everything in between, Bears’ self-titled debut is the epitome of indie pop. Layered with lush bedroom-style instrumentation and laconic singing, it’s a delicious fairy-tale in a fantasy land of sugar, love and honey.

	027	Weezer Pinkerton [1996; Geffen]
	A dark tale of boys and girls and love and puberty, Pinkerton showcased Weezer at an artistic high point. Steve Albini’s typically biting production provided a brilliant companion for Cuomo’s still sugary vocals, creating a pseudo diary of harmonies and sing-alongs for an entire generation of boys to hate their girlfriends to.

	028	The Sound From the Lion’s Mouth [1981; Konova]
	The Sound’s sophomore LP was an overlooked post-punk masterpiece somehow lost in the sea of Joy Divisions, Echo & the Bunnymens and Robert Smiths of the early 80s. It unfolds in the form of a haunting voyage through a black and white world of death and gloom—altogether frozen and timeless.

	029	The Stone Roses The Stone Roses [1989; Silvertone]
	The Stone Roses’ debut was a meandering, volatile haze of psychedelic pop and danceable acid-house beats. Ian Brown’s casual arrogance gave the album a cool nonchalance—his voice dissolving in the mixture of swirling guitars and rhythmic drums like a drug itself.

	030	New Order Get Ready [2001; London]
	Despite gaining international recognition for their flawless mixture of post-punk and dancefloor synth pop, New Order’s apogee actually came during the guitar-charged Get Ready. Bernard Sumner’s silky vocals purveyed an icy sea of calm-turned-catastrophe when paired with such surging attitude and melodious keyboards. In addition, the band’s rejuvinated (if feigned) youth effectively relegated their past to mere footnotes of the 80s.

	031	Radiohead Kid A [2000; EMI/Parlophone/Captiol]
	The long-awaited sequel to OK Computer was a decidedly antisocial excursion into the mind of a madman. Ice cold in sound and schizophrenic in personality, Kid A plays out like a sort of humanless, timeless mirage only visible to the frozen surroundings accurately depicted on the album cover.

	032	Radiohead The Bends [1995; Parlophone/Captiol]
	While only hinting at the artistic genius of their future material, Radiohead’s second album was a breathtaking collection of catchy, atmospheric pop music in its own right. Brimming with Thom Yorke’s moody vocals and bizarre lyrics, The Bends showcased the germination of the band’s emerging creativity.

	033	Sonic Youth Goo [1990; DGC]
	Further distancing themselves from the avant-garde, street-theatre antics of their early work, Sonic Youth’s major label debut was even more impressive than the critically hailed Daydream Nation. Defiantly accessible while still retaining the band’s integrity, Goo was smothered in dissonance, noise and intellectually obscure subject matter.

	034	Modest Mouse The Moon & Antarctica [2000; Epic]
	A tantalizing, existential concept album, The Moon & Antarctica meanders in and out of consciousness—evolving slowly as Isaac Brock’s brilliant lyrics unfold. The album is something of a deity in itself, telling a story of an antagonistic universe created, aged and ultimately destroyed.

	035	Built to Spill You in Reverse [2006; Warner Bros.]
	Built to Spill’s sixth full-length perfectly encapsulates Doug Martsch’s Neil Youngesque vocal delivery and the band’s penchant for subtle hooks and non-obtrusive guitar solos. You in Reverse seems almost coy upon first glance—a dark, acquiescent remittance that when dissected further reveals exactly the opposite, resulting in an epic record of thinly veiled discontent masqueraded by faux hope.

	036	Minus the Bear Menos El Oso [2005; Suicide Squeeze]
	Sexually charged and loaded with images of drinking, drugs, posh yachts and murderous strangers, Menos El Oso is a beautifully tragic yet humorous reflection of everyday American life—made all the more captivating by the band’s intoxicating dynamics, sudden tempo shifts and Jake Snider’s mindblowing lyrics.

	037	The Faint Danse Macabre [2001; Saddle Creek]
	The Faint continued their descent into the world of post-apocalyptic dance punk with the release of Danse Macabre—a pitch-black Delphian blend of throbbing synthesizers, pounding beats and robotic vocals. Even darker than its predecessors, the album forays into a world of vicious danceclubs populated by armies of neo-human drones.

	038	Catherine Wheel Ferment [1992; Fontana]
	A dreamy, shoegazing thunderstorm of mesmeric vocals atop clouds of brooding melodies, Catherine Wheel’s debut was a gorgeous addition to its genre. Its core beauty is so immense—perhaps even immortal—it literally bleeds out of every note; every fill; and every stare-at-the-floor burst of distortion.

	039	Juno A Future Lived in Past Tense [2001; De Soto]
	Juno’s second album was a genre defying, sensory deprived hallucination of aggression and submission confined to its fatal proviso. Altogether claustrophobic and desperate and tragic, it’s a calamity of post-rock allusions and math rock dynamics consummated with a slowcore finesse.

	040	…And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead Source Tags & Codes [2002; Interscope]
	A breathtaking, intrinsically sculpted creation of energy and vehemence, Source Tags & Codes expanded on the post-hardcore qualities of its predecessors by adding even more passion and a cleaner, more sophisticated production. Such texture better emphasized the searing music, allowing the intricate subtleties to stand out amidst their stentorian adversaries.

	041	I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness Fear Is On Our Side [2006; Secretly Canadian]
	I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness’ debut LP is a sinister modernization of post-punk doused in a desolation wholly indicative of its namesake. Graced in a chilling nocturnal decor, Fear Is On Our Side (just barely) glimmers with enough hope to bleed desaturated love.

	042	The New Pornographers Twin Cinema [2005; Matador]
	Led by the delectable harmonies of Carl Newman and Neko Case, The New Pornographers’ Twin Cinema is a gloriously sunny, apple pie flavored escape from the drawl of everday suburban life. Indisputably sweet and unquestionably honest, it’s a thoroughly heartwarming incursion of vintage, cinematic beauty.

	043	Blonde Redhead Misery is a Butterfly [2004; 4AD]
	An impeccably gorgeous and immaculately surreal orchestration of beauty(think Japanese-girl-on-acid-dancing-in-a-forest-full-of-dead-butterflies), Misery is a Butterfly tells a stunning tale of an enchanting world filled with possibilities but ultimately doomed to its under-laden evils

	044	The Knife Silent Shout [2006; Rabid]
	The Knife’s third LP continued even moreso down the freakishly dreamlike territory the band had become so fond of. Equal parts murderous nightmare and utopian fantasy, Silent Shout is a wickedly insane, neo-primitive battlecry between delusional savages.

	045	Deftones Around the Fur [1997; Maverick/Warner Bros.]
	Around the Fur is a ruthless salvo of distortion camoflouged by Chino Moreno’s poetically obscure lyrics and jaw-dropping vocal finesse. Moreno’s angelic singing disguises an otherwise typically nu-metal record and gives it the sensual wings it needs to take off and fly through the angry clouds of love and desire

	046	The Brian Jonestown Massacre And This Is Our Music [2003; Tee Pee]
	Though not quite as immediately accessible as its predecessor, And This Is Our Music pits Anton Newombe’s quivering sanity against an increasingly acoustic canvas of arcane folk music. The outcome is a beautifully sedated manifestation of man-vs-drugs; a bird’s-eye view of a tortured half-junkie, half-genius.

	047	The Dandy Warhols Come Down [1997; Capitol]
	Though not as ingeniously snide as its successor, The Dandy Warhols’ sophomore album is still a pop-cultural juggernaut laced with druggy hooks and a witty attitude that shapes the bands’ pompous arrogance as much as defines it. Come Down molds power-pop with psych rock in true chic fashion.

	048	Nirvana Nevermind [1991; DGC/Sub Pop]
	Nirvana’s breakthrough album was nothing short of a pummeling beat-down of society—and the single cathartic zeitgeist of the 90s. Led by Kurt Cobain’s raging, pop-inflected vocals, Nevermind is a cacophony of deafening angst and heartfelt, melodic pop music.

	049	At The Drive-In Relationship of Command [2000; Grand Royal/Fearless]
	At The Drive-In’s final album molded semi-accessible hooks with complex time signatures, convoluted guitars and intelligently insane lyrics to form a psychotic sensory overload that assaults, berates, and enlightens everything in its path. Relationship of Command is an unknowing aural Benzedrine for a band constantly veering toward madness.

	050	Pinback Blue Screen Life [2001; Ace Fu]
	Pinback’s second LP was overloaded in a quiet, charismatic tension that was simultaneously calming and unnerving. Zach Smith and Rob Crow’s genius is revealed in their smooth blend of hypnotic beats, mellow vocals and quirky melodies that embrace a subtle sadness lurking just beneath the surface.

	051	Frank Black Frank Black [1993; 4AD/Elektra]
	Considerably more relaxed and conventional than his previous work, Frank Black’s first post-Pixies record still demonstrated his exceptional skill for writing catchy pop songs with weird underlying imagery—ultimately forming a sort of microcosm of Black’s varied musical influences.

	052	The Notwist Neon Golden [2002; Virgin/Domino]
	The Notwist’s third album moved even closer to the full-fledged lap-pop the band had been toying with since their noisy debut. Neon Golden is a labrynth of cryogenically frozen Baroque melodies backed by lazily subdued hip-hop beats that slowly mesmerize and eventually fade to black.

	053	Denali The Instinct [2003; Jade Tree]
	Amplified by Maura Davis’ stunningly ethereal vocals, Denali’s sophomore album is something of a heavenly entity in istelf. Davis’ breathtaking virtuosity adds a classical sheen to the band’s polished backdrop, forming an album so contemptuously beautiful it beckons the tears of God.

	054	Nick Drake Pink Moon [1972; Island]
	Haunting, graceful and years ahead of its time, Nick Drake’s Pink Moon was an astonishing collection of acoustic folk draped in stark melodies and barren minimalism. Drake’s bleak delivery, succinct songwriting and barely-feigned contentment created a poignant tension made even more chilling following his untimely death.

	055	The Legends Up Against the Legends [2004; Lakeshore S]
	Drenched in reverb and layered with unbelievably catchy melodies, The Legends’ debut was a brilliant modernization of classic Jesus-and-Mary-Chain style noise-pop. With nine members each lending their prodigious skills, the band’s incisive songs bleed together to form a sugar-coated collage of evocative vignettes.

	056	The Arcade Fire Funeral [2004; Merge]
	A gorgeous collection of explosive anthems, morbid subject matter and quirky songwriting, Funeral was quite literally birthed from death. The band’s frequent visits to the mortuary during the recording of their debut album contributed to a somber but celebratory record that equally mourned and caroused.

	057	Spoon Girls Can Tell [2001; Merge]
	Eccentric dynamics and a brash, slightly conceited attitude characterized Spoon’s third album. Britt Daniel’s crafty songwriting and passive-agressive delivery resulted in a coarse, memorable record that flowed seamlessly despite its eclectic span of influences.

	058	Sonic Youth Daydream Nation [1988; Enigma]
	Daydream Nation showcased Sonic Youth effortlessly transcending the genre boundaries normally associated with the kind of innovative noise rock they were so fond of. The album saw the band moving further toward genuine song structures and eliciting a deeper understanding of their unique combination of dischordant avant-garde and conventional pop music.

	059	Pavement Wowee Zowee [1995; Matador]
	Even more blasé than his band’s previous work, Wowee Zowee further magnified Stephen Malkmus’ lethargic delivery and off-kilter stoner medleys—resulting in a record brimming with lazily sublime noise pop that was equally challenging and approachable.

	060	The Afghan Whigs Gentlemen [1993; Elektra]
	The Afghan Whigs’ deep, rhythmic grooves were a perfect backdrop for Greg Dulli’s rugged swagger—melding together to form a bluesy mix of drunken ballads and danceable vigor that borrowed as much from classic R&B as it did from rock and pop.

	061	The Church Starfish [1988; Arista]
	Dripping with sparkling post-punk melodies and a despairing subtext, The Church’s seventh album was by far their most aspiring and ambitious to date. Starfish was a gorgeous, introspective record showcasing the band’s elegant arrangements, which conveyed a subtle optimism that added auxiliary depth to the album’s inherent hopelessness.

	062	Guided By Voices Alien Lanes [1995; Matador]
	The brainchild of one of indie rock’s most prolific figures, Guided By Voices was a brilliant vehicle for Robert Pollard’s short and to the point booze-tinged anthems. Alien Lanes exhibits Pollard’s remarkable gift for writing delightfully sloppy lo-fi pop fragments and half-drunk DIY gems that are both exciting and memorable.

	063	Yo La Tengo I Can Hear the Heart Beating As One [1997; Matador]
	A brazen pastiche of indie music trends, Yo La Tengo managed to take a vast assortment of styles and influences and fuse them into a genre-gapping trove of deliciously catchy pop songs that effortlessly segued through themselves with intimacy and confidence.

	064	Engine Down Demure [2002; Lovitt]
	Engine Down’s third album was moody, edgy and panoramic—a deft transition from the emo flavor of their previous records. Abreast with abrupt time changes and jagged dissonance, Keeley Davis’ nondescript vocals gave each song an incredible sense of immediacy and [implied] despair.

	065	The Yeah Yeah Yeahs Show Your Bones [2006; Interscope]
	Apparently satisfied with the art school cred they received from their gritty debut, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs sophomore album was nearly devoid of the avant-garde dance punk that brought them to the forefront of the New York art punk scene. Propelled by Nick Zinner’s deceptively simple backdrops and Karen O’s sexy vocals, Show Your Bones is deliciously charming and thoughtful while retaining just enough gusto to preserve the band’s danceable, artsy panache.

Ray Frenden is an illustrator guy that is able to make really good drawings. You can view his portfolio here: frenden.com. He also is the madman genius behind the hilarious web comic voorhees a jolly good fellow. An exerpt (LOL):

Anyway, I have had the pleasure to talk to him a little bit over the interweb as we are mutually involved with Oddica and several design message boards. I recently took the opportunity to ask him a few questions:

1) what is your favorite color
I never have a good answer for this. I immediately think black, but black is boring. My next instinct is to pick something garish, but then I start to

Ray Frenden is an amazing illustratorthink about its compliment and I digress. That’s your answer.

2) if you could kill anyone in the world, who would it be?
Alive, now? My childhood arch nemesis comes to mind, but that would just be gloating. Last I heard, he ended up in a real bad way. In all probability, the sort of “people” deserving a death sentence are actually corporations.

3) what is your art-making process?
Depending on the sort of art, I typically find some reference, throw it on my second monitor, and go to town with my tablet. I pencil in light blue first and either finish off with ‘inks’ in Painter or Manga Studio or paint in Photoshop. It’s a totally digital process. I work at about 1200 dpi, so if I need to make something vector it’s one easy step away.

4) do any of your animals ever help make art with you ?
I live out in the boonies and I have four dogs, five cats, fifteen chickens, and a horse; there aren’t many people to draw, so my lifedrawing comes from them!

5) if you had a time machine, and you could go back to any time period since the beginning of time, but you could not interact with anything… and only observe, where and when would you go?
I’m an armchair history buff with a penchant for the period that dealt with manifest destiny and the push westward. I’m supposedly 50% native american, but I’ve never had the genetic tests done. Their culture has always interested me. I realize that pursuing a chance to witness romantic nationalism at work is an entirely selfish answer. The atheist in me would be better served to get some definitive proof that organized religion is a sham.

6) what are you listening to right now?
Right this instant? The Decemberists. All Colin Meloy’s body of work set to shuffle. I really like sea shanties. You asked!

7) be honest, when you hear about huge natural disasters that happen to kill lots of people out in china, or indonesia or something, does a little part of you get excited to witness such a historic event ?
I’ll be as tactful as possible. I’m not a huge fan of humanity.

8) what inspired you to create voorhees a jolly good fellow ?
I really like the concept of Jason having an internal dialog that we never get to hear. I had a really rudimentary paint app open and Jason was the first thing that came to mind. It was a given.

9) what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word “inordinate”
Too much. I’m simple.

10) what is your favorite childhood memory, EVER
I have a picture of me sitting on Smurf sheets, wearing pleather pants, sporting a bowl haircut, playing with an Ewok playset. Consumer whore for the win!

• I completely overhauled explodingNOW!!!!. Hopefully you dudes or dudettes dig it. I tested it on Safari and Firefox on Mac. But not PC. I obviously didn’t test anything on Internet Explorer because if you’re using that I hope it looks like crap, because you are probably the bastard child of Satan. Personally I think the new look is a sort of Web 2.0 take on the 70s.

• All my fantasy football teams got completely destroyed this week. In one league I had the good fortune to play against Tony Romo and his 5 TDs. In the other I got to go against LaDainian Tomlinson and Drew Brees. Aslo, omg @ Joseph Addai tonight. Anyway, all in all it was a pretty fun week around the NFL.

• I don’t think I’ve even mentioned on here that I recently got engaged! With the craziness that’s been going on in my life I haven’t found much time to do anything. I will be moving back to Iowa in two weeks and getting married probably sometime in the summer. So updates on this thing could be sporadic until then. Stick with it.

• It’s fall, which means nothing but acoustic and folk-rock has been coming out of my speakers. If you were near me the last week or so you’d be hearing a lot of My Morning Jacket, Idaho, The Microphones, Band of Horses et al.

• For reasons which escape me, I only just recently have begun to appreciate Sparrow House (Jared Van Fleet of the wonderfully Spoon-like band Voxtrot). I’ll admit that when I first discovered the EP on Oink I jumped all over it. But for some reason on the first few listens it just didn’t command my attention. But it came on randomly a few days ago and I was confused. Was this the same band? Apparently I didn’t listen hard enough the first few times.

• Effen vodka and blue Gatorade is the best drink ever. And no, it’s not a girly-drink. It’s refreshing, not fruity.

• I finally got my brand new Guild acoustic in the mail last week. Maybe if you’re good, I will post a song for you sometime.

• Points are definitely not all that matter in fantasy basketball. I’ve come to the conclusion that the key to winning is two strong Centers. The more stats besides points that you can accumulate, the better. Also, my team sucks.

• I’m listening to Minus The Bear’s remix album, Interpretationes Del Oso for the first time and: it is awesome. Seriously, listen to this immediately. Indie/rock remixes are usually pretty hit and miss (as opposed to trance/house/etc, which are usually good), but this is a definite hit.

• I’m trying out fantasy basketball for the first time this year. I’m in a Yahoo! rotisserie league, and I’ve found it’s been a huge factor in getting me involved in the league. I’ve always kind of hated the NBA, but now that I have an excuse to get immersed in the stats, I’m totally into it. And, wtf@Lebron’s pitiful 15 points tonight. I hate you, Lebron. I should mention I’m still in second place despite him, though.

• My newest addiction (well, for the last month or so now) is Franchise Football at simgalaxy.com. It’s an insanely addictive simulation game that pits you as an owner of a professional football team. You make all the financial decisions, sign players, trade and everything else. You play against other real owners. I already have three teams going in different leagues.

• My other newest addiction is a web-based island warfare/civilization role playing game at inselkampf.com. It’s horribly designed, disgustingly slow, and altogether just bad, but still has managed to completely immerse me.

• My new favorite Subway sandwich is a 6″ oven-broasted chicken breast on parmesan oregano toasted with swiss cheese, lettuce, mayonnaise, and yellow mustard. Mmmmm, so good. That doesn’t mean I don’t hate Jared, however.

• The Shins’ Wincing The Night Away is far and away their best album to date. I just keep putting it on. Again, and again.

• After over a month, I finally got my brand new Guild acoustic in the mail from Musician’s Friend yesterday. It’s been far too long since I’ve owned a guitar, and my fingers are well aware of it already.

• I stumbled upon an old interweb friend’s blog tonight. Go to it, he likes good music and is more intelligent than me. He’s also the guy who turned me onto The Microphones, My Morning Jacket, Idaho, and others. It’s located at studiomoustache.com.

• Anders Parker (of Varnaline fame) has a new album out. I am listening to it for the very first time as I write this. It’s already outstanding. Recommended for any fans of good folksy indie rock.

• Frank Caliendo was on Letterman recently as part of Impressionist Week. He has always been a genius, but this trumped everything he ever has, and ever will do. I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything this funny in my entire life.

• The Royal Tenenbaums is still the greatest movie ever made. Actually, The Life Aquatic is better. actually, maybe Bottle Rocket is the greatest movie ever made. Whichever the verdict, Wes Anderson is probably the greatest human alive and I need his new movie very soon or I will cease to exist. Also, The Squid And The Whale is almost as good. Sometimes I wish I had a machine that could erase my memory of a movie after I’ve finished watching it so I can watch it again for the first time :( On a related note, I love how Owen Wilson basically plays the same character in every single movie he does, but it always makes the movie a million times better, and even makes crappy mainstream movies worth watching (You, Me and Dupree).

• 30 Rock, starring Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan is my new TV obsession. Watch it, it’s hilarious.

• Madden ‘07 is too easy. Ridiculously easy. The graphics keep getting prettier and the features more intense, but the gameplay is still stuck in the same unrealistic tecmo bowl style malaise. With the difficulty setting on Pro (which isn’t even the easiest, I should add), I started my first season 9-0. I just lost my first game, and even that was lame. I was down by 12 with less than two minutes to go; managed to score two touchdowns (70 and 39 yard receptions) and a two-point conversion to take a three point lead, which I reliquished to a field goal and eventually lost in overtime. Still, take these stats into consideration: My kick returner is averaging almost 40 yards per return with 5 (yes, 5) TDs in 10 games. My QB has a rating of 145.4 with 3,000 yards, 26 TDs and 3 interceptions. His touchdown to interception ratio is 26:3. My top receiver (who is a rookie, by the way) has over 400 yards more than the next best in the league, and my top two receivers each have 10 TDs which is one more than next best in the league. In one game my QB easily threw for 499 yards with 5 TDs. I’m averaging over 35 points per game, which is 11 more than anyone else. Meanwhile, running is damn near impossible. My team is averaging about 80 yards per game rushing, which is ridiculous considering I run about 70% of the time. While I applaud the incredible evolution of graphics in the Madden franchise, I would prefer to play a realistic game. Even ten years after the first release in this series, you can still easily win a game using one or two main plays the entire game. EA Sports needs to change the game from 5 minute quarters to the real NFL time of 15 minutes. They then need to adjust for the user speed of the game and come up with a realistic speed for the clock so it lasts just as long as the 5 minute games. I mean, the 2 minute warning is completely worthless in a 5 minute game. Basically, it’s like the NFL having a 7 minute warning. So, EA Sports, I beg you: please care a little less about the graphics and useless features like “Create-A-Fan” and try to make these games a bit more realistic. Mmmkay??

• The top 500 list is not dead. I’ve just been struggling to find time to add vignettes at the moment. Don’t give up on it just yet.

• Trail of Dead’s (personally I liked the band’s …And You Will Know Us By The prefix much better) new album has leaked. This thing is worlds better than Worlds Apart. I’ll try to post a review of it in the coming days. But I will leave you with this: It’s weird as hell; it’s awkward; it’s addicting; it’s damn good.

• Sophia. Ever heard of this band? I can tell you one thing: I hadn’t either until I randomly checked out their new album, Technology Won’t Save Us a few nights ago. And it’s one of the better releases I’ve heard this year. Think Notwist style chill rock without the electronic lap-pop backdrop. Seriously, this is at the top of my list right now. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

• The Killers - Sam’s Town. If you know me, you know that i’m not an indie prick and that I will readily admit to liking such don’t-mention-them-to-indie-fans bands such as Linkin Park and even Avril. I can tell you right now that I loved The Killers‘ debut. But this? This might be the worst album I’ve heard since Courtney Love’s solo album. Or even Paris Hilton’s horribly pathetic attempt at making music making money. Seriously, this record is just embarrassing to listen to. The lyrics are nauseating, Brandon Flowers‘ voice has devolved and every song is disgustingly unoriginal and awful. Stay far, far away from it.

• -1’s to: Santana Moss, Marques Colston and Jerricho Cotchery for sucking balls this week and helping my fantasy football team get its ass kicked. Oh, and Ahman Green for not playing even though the Packers said “he will”. And also to Yahoo for changing the post-game scores and providing me with a 0.06 point loss in my other league. Yes you read that right, I lost by 0.06 points.

I don’t know how rare it is for weirdo hipsters like me to be smitten with sports. I’m guessing the rarity is parallel to an early Modest Mouse vinyl. Or something. My love for sports is just about as great as my love for music. Also, just so you know, I do own some early Modest Mouse vinyl. And just like I do Modest Mouse, I like sports (if women aren’t involved, of course).

Honestly, ever since I was a kid I’ve been kind of sports geek. Minus those teen-angst years, of course — when I denounced the NFL in favor of Slipknot and Hot Topic (yeah, that includes the ONE year the Falcons were good). Over the years I’ve somehow managed to meld my tattooed arms; my stretched earlobes; my fauxhawk and every other element that puts me on the hipster Bingo chart with a career designing sports pages for one of the biggest newspapers in the country. It’s like my own personal peanut butter & jelly vitality.

So yeah, that leads me to the home-run derby. It’s on right now — as I write this in fact. When I was younger (back before all these latin americans invaded the league with their gonzalezy names; when the “foreigners” in the league looked like Jose Conseco) I always rooted for Griffey, Jr. Those days are gone, and now it seems like most of the major steroid-crusted manly-men are too pansy to participate. So we’re left with the likes of Troy Glaus and David Wright. Yeah they’re good hitters, but much better at getting on base than hitting a ball 500 feet.

I got screwed into the 5th pick in our office pool, so I’m stuck rooting for David Wright.

Like everyone in this year’s contest, Wright’s a pretty good hitter, and he’s got the Mets way up in the NL East. But I’m not holding my breath. Where’s Pujols? Giambi? Come on you nancies. Just use an extra needle and you’ll be fine by next week. Hike up your skirts and play. You’re already getting paid millions for playing the world’s easiest sport. The least you can do is give me a chance to win my five bucks back.

Come on David Wright, if you win I can buy the new Walkmen vinyl.

In case you weren’t aware: Pitchfork is this: blows.

An embarrassment to indie music, to intelligence and to writers and reviewers in general.

Their recent review (and ensuing grade-schoolesque taunting) of Sound Team’s new record (Movie Monster) is what finally put me over the edge. Not that this surprised me — I never fail to laugh at these reviews (remember the Dandy Warhols review by shitstain writer Nick Sylvester last summer?). But comedic value aside, there is an army of music lovers out there giving genuine forthright credence to these abortions of writing and reviewing.

That stops now.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not new to me. I’ve hated Pitchfork for as long as I can remember. But this most recent display of narcissistic hubris has me ready to embark on a lifelong quest to bring them each to Hell myself. Yeah that’s right, they’ve earned the coveted spot on my fridge next to Stuart Scott, Ween and Steve Urkel.

It’s not that Pitchfork writers are unintelligent (they aren’t, for the most part. As a matter of fact I think one of them might even read Pynchon. Though I wouldn’t know — they never namedrop or anything). And it’s not that they don’t like the same things as me (deep down I’m pretty sure they do—even Pitchfork couldn’t rationally spurn the genius of Neutral Milk Hotel).

Similarities and dissimilarities aside though, the world’s hipsters and scenesters need a new czar of indie music fandom—a brand new place to get the latest happenings and scandals. A place filled with candy and chocolate covered words. A Willy Wonka’s Music Review Factory of sorts.

Yeah, I suppose it’s mildly ironic to buy a domain, start a blog, and wax poetic on hating a music review site. And it probably is. But that’s the beauty of the interweb.