My Chemical Romance
The Black Parade
[2006; Reprise]
Here I go listening to the new My Chemical Romance album The Black Parade. My hopes are high, I liked their previous album, and no matter what any indie snob says, “Helena” is a hell of a good song. music doesn’t have to be unknown to be good.

track 1- “the end”

dear holy mother of all things this is awful. sweet mary it’s like the new killers mixed with garth brooks or some shit

:’(

many kittens are being tortured

track 2 - “dead”

omg it’s guns ‘n roses! when did axl start playing with this band.

omg the vocals are disgusting. wtf is this

track 3 - “this is how i disappear”

the intro is pretty good. i am definitely digging these guitars.

the guitars still going, i am digging.

chilled vocals, reminding me a little of avenged sevenfold or something.

this song isn’t bad at all. it seems to be excellent drinking music.

track 4 - “sharpest lives”

these beginning vocals are gross.. and what’s with the whispered secondary vocals. is this marilyn manson? what’s the deal with the new queen vibe, i feel like i’m listening to the wayne’s world soundtrack.

track 5 - “welcome to the black parade”

the piano intro is so sad.

this song reminds me of november rain or bohemian rhapsody or something.

the vocals are totally shitty. wtf @ the my chemical romance meets axl rose sound of this album

track 6 - “i don’t love you”

i am definitely down with the intro.

the intro stopped to make room for crappy vocals and weird start/stop action.

this song is moderately boring but not awful

track 7 - “house of wolves”

wtf@ the nofx meets pennywise intro

i think our lady peace is singing now.

track 8 - “cancer”

uhhh. this is pretty weird. more piano wannabe bohemian rhapsody style balladry.

track 9 - “mama”

wtf is the beginning of this song. it’s like if the decemberists were having a bonfire with satan and sacrificing babies wearing black lipstick instead of jousting the midieval black knight at the renaissance fair.

and what the holy hell @ the creepy david lynch midget character talking during the middle????

what an awful song.

track 10 - “sleep”

a weird warped tape recorderish intro that has no purpose being there at all.. leading into some boring our lady peace meets guns ‘n roses style vocals and marilyn mansony guitars.

boring

track 11 - “teenagers”

holy omfg this intro is gross. it’s like buckcherry if buckcherry really really really really sucked.

wow, the chorus is even worse than the verse.

this might be one of the worst songs i’ve heard this year.

track 12 - “disenchanted”

a strange nick drakian intro with the vocals of newish filter. not bad.

eww the chorus just kicked in.

the middle is not so horrible. it reminds me of lots of decent radio rock. not bad, but not good either.

probably one of the better songs on the album, though

track 13 - “famous last words”

what in the shit is up with his disgusting accentuation of words on this album???? the vocals on this song are totally gross.

i dig the chorus, reminds me of avenged sevenfold.

now we’re back into some sweet def leppardish action

not bad in a drunk at a bar sort of way

track 14 - “hidden track”

sweet it’s like early pink floyd back when syd barrett was still with them.

except barrett pretty much already made this song like 40 years ago.

this song definitely should have remained hidden

In closing: holy shitballs, this is almost as bad as the new paris hilton or killers’ albums.

totally disgusting. i seriously did not expect it to be anywhere near this bad.

this is seriously gross and i think i am going to throw up in my mouth a little